So many other things but it’s 5am and I can’t think…
Most of this list sums up my college dating experience
Anybody who says “I would never let my girl (insert thing an adult should have the freedom to decide whether or not to do here)”
if they try to separate you from the people you care about
if you have a suspicion that they’re insecure about any of your accomplishments
if he says “females” instead of “women”, “ladies” or even “girls”
the first time you hear him refer to a woman as a “bitch”, “thot”, “ho”, etc and he can’t reasonably explain how that term applies, just has some throwaway answer…she probably rejected him in the past or has her own mind. He’ll be calling you that after he does something shitty enough for you to leave.
if he tries to control the things you do or own (pets , vacations etc) without actually making any commitment to you.
(this ones connected to my fist one) if he tries to make you give up or abandon something for his love example “would you give up your dog for me?” (was actually asked of me in a very sweetheart, romantic big eyed tone)
if he’s so “busy”.
if he only seems to call you around for sex.
if he is constantly trying to pressure you into sexual acts you have previously told him makes you uncomfortable.
if he tries to make you feel insecure or foolish for enjoying the things you enjoy.
if he only seems to care about you, or becomes jealous the second you begin another relationship.
(and this sorta goes without saying) has no problem dating someone much much younger than him, or taking advantage of teenagers.
Just to add:
(sorry if these were already mentioned)
• If he uses his “strong emotions” for you to manipulate you ex: I get so depressed when you go x amount of time without calling me
• if he says, “but I’m a nice/good guy” to get to you to do something you’ve said you’re uncomfortable with
• if he’s never where he says he will be when he says he’ll be there OR keeps you waiting an excessive amount of time
• if he stalks your social media profiles
• if he says “if I were gonna hurt you, don’t you think I would’ve done it by now?”
Basically, if it don’t feel right, it ain’t right.
if he denies things that have happened, especially details that incriminate him… for example you were having an argument and he pushes you, but later says he didn’t
if he raises his voice but demands that you speak softly or calmly
if he reinforces other double standards, like the idea that you aren’t allowed to talk to/be friends with other men but calls you insecure or crazy if you mention that he talks to/is friends with women
if he claims your personal property as his own without permission
if he guilts you into doing things for him consistently without reciprocation
if he speaks in a derogatory way about women when around his male friends, or his personality changes drastically for the worse when the room is dominated by men
if he only ever wants to hang out while he’s drinking/wants to get together to drink
i can’t stress enough how important it is to be wary of men significantly older, too…i’ve dealt w some super fucked up situations bc of me being naive and thinking i was “different” bc these creepy ass losers were paying attention to me
I do not know everything about [him], and he does not tell me everything. That is okay. We are not one person. How lonely that would be. A couple who has made themselves one so completely, that they are once again alone. We are two people, separate, unique, and joined only where we chose to join.
Her lips, my wine.
My touch, her high.
We never lived another sober day again.
Your soulmate is not someone who comes into your life peacefully. It is who comes to make you question things, who changes your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealized, but an ordinary person, who manages to revolutionize your world in a second…
You were red. You liked me cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky and you decided purple just wasn’t for you.